Bi Polar Hell

[onyxfiretear]

Waking to a new day
Full of grand hope
Bright eyed
Bushy tailed

Get up to take a shower
Car backfires outside
Scaring the hell out of me
Ringing my ears

Shaking it off
I proceed in a grand mood
Gathering what I need
Then i get stopped every five feet to answer a question
'Mom, where is this? Honey, where is that?'

That glorious fresh start day smile
Now is beginning to fade
Grinding my teeth
I take a deep breath and sluff it off

With the bathroom door closed
I step into the waiting arms of the steam
Enveloping my body
Massaging all my cares away

~KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK~
'Mommy! I need you. I can't find my shoes'
Lowering my head in the hot water
I let out a sigh and wonder why I even try

Before I turn into Mr. Hyde
I calm my self and think
They are only kids
So in a nice but stern tone, I answer them

With them screaming their thanks you's
I direct my attention back to the tranquil waters
Losing myself from this realm
Hoping for at least a moments of peace
That was a short lived hope

Anger increasing as the door open
Hubby decides it is now time to come in and talk
Now? He just decides this now?
Why in the hell can't people leave me alone, if only for a moment

As he talks I listen
Trying to maintain my composure
He obviously needs something from me
So no matter that I need time alone as well,
I will be there for him

He gets up and leaves
Now shower is done
Time to dry off
Damn that was a waste of time

Now dried and dressed
I open the door to screaming children
Fighting over a game
Walking over them, I pull the game out
Throwing it to the ground

Tensions rising high now
I grip my hands into a tight fist
Quickly walking into the kitchen
Now it is breakfast time

'Mommy, I want cereal.'
~whining~ 'No mommy i want pancakes!'
Now looking like the exorcist,
I make their breakfast,
All get cereal.

That is over
They put their dishes in the sink
Then, oh yes,
All the questions start again.

'Mommy can we do this?
Mommy, can do that?
Mommy I am bored can we go out and play?'
By now I am getting agitated enough to look like a prune

I go to the computer to look at my mail
Chat to a few friends
Kick my house boogie cleaning music on
Then just when all settled down...

Kids run through the house
Chasing barking dogs
All this noise is really starting my rages
The phone rings

On no not that bloody phone
Levels of noise penetrate my head
Blending all into one garbled, incoherent mush
I am starting to lose it

As the day presses on
Lunch and dinner routine is the same as breakfast
Hubby has gone to work
I feel trapped
He wont be back for 2 days

Dusk fades to night
Now the demanding hell monsters would like desert
I had no time to breathe
How was I to make desert?

Dogs chasing cats
Kids fighting about games again
Cat tagging the lil in the head cause he pulled its tail
I can't take it anymore!

Standing in the middle of the living room
I put my hands on my head,
Letting out one hellashious scream
Falling to my knees crying

All goes quiet
Kids come to my side
Letting the 'I'm sorry mommy'
Flow from their little mouths

I sit and cry
Kiss them all on the cheek
Off to bed they go
I sit on the couch

Curling into a lil ball
Wondering what did I do wrong
Feeling like the worse person in the world,
I go to bed letting sleep erase this day

Hoping the night with dry the tears from my pillow
To help me face tomorrow
With the same smile I started with today.

[Aaron Graf]

The poem was very long, but also very well written. I myself am bi-polar, problem is I have absolutely no damn clue what it's like to raise kids. [I'm getting a vasectomy once I have the money, if I have the money]. Course if I were that husband I'd be giving you a nice back massage and having crazy sex every night, but that's just me. [Laughs and grins]. Anyways, it's a good look into how most mothers receive no appreciation for what they do, I know from being a kid of my own mother, kids are a pain in the ass and parents never get appreciation for what they go through. But seriously that was a very great poem.