Post by Nacht der Tiger on Nov 15, 2004 22:56:43 GMT -5
The truth behind the shared tales
The truth behind the happy smiles
The truth so few do know
You want to know about my family life
The things I never or rarely have told
It all started 9 years ago
Although it seems longer
The time we moved back to Cali
Without our Daddy
Living with Grandma and Grandpa
It was a living hell
My sister's 16th birthday was the last time we saw him
A couple months after her sweet 16
Dad snapped
Had a mental break
And tried to rob a bank
(In Texas nonetheless)
After we got home from school that day
Mom told us the news
There was so much debt
Because of him
A divorce and bankruptcy case was ensued
5 3/4 years was his sentence
Bipolar was his disease
(If you can call it that)
Grandma and Grandpa took us in
And kept us there
Sister at 18 met this guy named Rob
What an asshole he is
She got pregnant
And there was a lot of fuss
Boy if I could... kick his...
I would
3 weeks after my niece is born
3 weeks since the first day of school
My grandmother dies
An accidental overdose
No one came to terms with that
Until years later
My grandfather wanted to kill himself
He couldn't imagine living without her
It was hard knowing he was in so much pain
And it became harder for him to live
4 years of helping out
Of never having a job
Never driving
Never really living
Because I took care of him
Mom's health was failing too
I was the only one able to help out
My aunt and cousin were lazy asses
That I couldn't stand
Grandpa finally died
2 weeks after junior year ended
We stayed in the house until my graduation
Then August of this year
We moved to Phoenix
It's so hard to stay afloat
When everything is bringing me down
I have great friends
But through the distance we've faded
I miss the good times of the past
Because I know things will never be the same
With all the inside jokes or the familiar hang outs
I only have a couple friends out here
All guys that like me
Its hard to be out here
When my boyfriend is still out there
I don't care what goes on...
This isn't even the whole story
There is so much more pain...
So much more tragedy
So much more love and hate
So much more of my family
I've barely even scratched the top
Barely even exposed the whole truth
That's for another time
In a story and not a sketchy poem
Because of all these things
I find it hard to trust
I find it hard to want to go on
When things keep going further down
I'm losing friends
I'm losing weight
I'm becoming very unhealthy
And the only person I can really trust
Is me...
No longer am I all smiles
My depression shows more and more
So excuse me for not trusting you
It's my fault not yours
Although this is hardly anything
Please know that it is true
What I wouldn't give
If this was simply a nightmare
If this wasn't really true
The truth behind the happy smiles
The truth so few do know
You want to know about my family life
The things I never or rarely have told
It all started 9 years ago
Although it seems longer
The time we moved back to Cali
Without our Daddy
Living with Grandma and Grandpa
It was a living hell
My sister's 16th birthday was the last time we saw him
A couple months after her sweet 16
Dad snapped
Had a mental break
And tried to rob a bank
(In Texas nonetheless)
After we got home from school that day
Mom told us the news
There was so much debt
Because of him
A divorce and bankruptcy case was ensued
5 3/4 years was his sentence
Bipolar was his disease
(If you can call it that)
Grandma and Grandpa took us in
And kept us there
Sister at 18 met this guy named Rob
What an asshole he is
She got pregnant
And there was a lot of fuss
Boy if I could... kick his...
I would
3 weeks after my niece is born
3 weeks since the first day of school
My grandmother dies
An accidental overdose
No one came to terms with that
Until years later
My grandfather wanted to kill himself
He couldn't imagine living without her
It was hard knowing he was in so much pain
And it became harder for him to live
4 years of helping out
Of never having a job
Never driving
Never really living
Because I took care of him
Mom's health was failing too
I was the only one able to help out
My aunt and cousin were lazy asses
That I couldn't stand
Grandpa finally died
2 weeks after junior year ended
We stayed in the house until my graduation
Then August of this year
We moved to Phoenix
It's so hard to stay afloat
When everything is bringing me down
I have great friends
But through the distance we've faded
I miss the good times of the past
Because I know things will never be the same
With all the inside jokes or the familiar hang outs
I only have a couple friends out here
All guys that like me
Its hard to be out here
When my boyfriend is still out there
I don't care what goes on...
This isn't even the whole story
There is so much more pain...
So much more tragedy
So much more love and hate
So much more of my family
I've barely even scratched the top
Barely even exposed the whole truth
That's for another time
In a story and not a sketchy poem
Because of all these things
I find it hard to trust
I find it hard to want to go on
When things keep going further down
I'm losing friends
I'm losing weight
I'm becoming very unhealthy
And the only person I can really trust
Is me...
No longer am I all smiles
My depression shows more and more
So excuse me for not trusting you
It's my fault not yours
Although this is hardly anything
Please know that it is true
What I wouldn't give
If this was simply a nightmare
If this wasn't really true
All true... all real... and I barely even touched it all
