Prisoner of her own mind

[onyxfiretear]

In the darkness of my mind
I sit and quietly ponder
Wondering what the next day will bring
Will I be able to survive?

Thinking of so many inventive ways
To kill myself
How can it be done quickly I wonder
So I will not have to thrive in agony

The classic hanging by a rope
Well that is good
But with my weight I would break the rope
Bust my ass and what would have been the point

So then I move on to something else
What about pills?
Yes that would do the trick
But then again I hate swallowing them, so um no

Well damn lets think here
There is always walking out in front of a car
That would probably lead to a driver’s heart attack
So lets mark that off the list

Taking a gun and blowing my head to China
Then that leaves a horrific mess
I think the clean up crew would be cussing me after
Then I would have to haunt them

The typical slicing of the wrists
Let's not forget the throat
I would sit in a tub
Just to contain all the blood

Drinking chemicals
To poison my body
Cease my mind
That is the logical choice yet

Throwing myself off a building
Or a cliff just does not appeal to me
My bones would be destroyed
My body a puddle of goo

Oh yes I did forget the best one of all
A classic that seems to never fail
Walking into an ocean or
Submersing ones self in a tub of water

These thoughts run through my head daily
I wonder how the hell am I still breathing
Goddess knows I don’t want to live
For some reason I still do.

I am that much of a coward that
I cannot go through with these acts?
Sitting in a daily torment
I remain in my darkened corner and cry

This is a look into the head of one
A person that you think is normal
One with mental illnesses that you can’t see
A woman trapped in a prison of her mind

[strangeclouds]

[onyxfiretear]

thank you so much for reading my work hun

[strangeclouds]

i like reading it