Post by onyxfiretear on Jan 3, 2005 8:56:16 GMT -5
Looking in the mirror
I see myself
But it is not myself
It is who i am and who i used to be
when I place my hands before me
They are ones of a full grown woman
Yet when I look at my reflection
A little girl with big brown eyes is there
Tears stream from her soft eyes
Wondering what she did wrong
She can't remember yesterday
Let alone a hour ago
In her head, as well as mine
Deep rooted confusion swirls
How do i act with this one
How do i act with that one
What came flying out of my mouth this time
Making tidal waves where that ought not be
Can my mind not over run my mouth to prevent
Such actions, I guess not
Placing my hand upon the cold glass
I feel the child's every ache
For her aches are my own
As are her fears, laughter, sadness and happiness
How to take us to and mend the chaos
Just to make us one
If even for a short time
To know peace, if on for a little while
For as long as we both can recall
We have felt useless and undeserving
Although most of the hell we endure
Was caused by us
This is so very much understood
As she continues to weep
My heart breaks
Wanting so much to hold her close
To chase the fears of loss
Fears of not being good enough
Feelings of always letting others down
To chase them all away and let her breathe
Softly i sing to her
She delicately falls into a deep sleep
One where we both can dream of memories
Sweet pleasant memories
I can finally smile a bit
Remembering these times
Watching her drift in dreams
Knowing for now she is safe.
Violence shakes her from her slumber
Jagged cracks now dance across the mirror
She shreaks in horrid terror
As the realms of chaos come crashing in once more
I fall to the floor holding my head
Blood flowing from my eyes
Why must we endure this endless cycle
When will the calmness from this storm return
We both hold on for dear life
As we tremble back into our fears
Holding fast to whatever we can find
Then a sudden silence
Rising to my feet
Her to hers
We both wipe away the tears
Wondering what just happened
I look at the glass
gently pushing on it
A finger slips into her reality
We both smile with joy
With both hands I push the glass
It releases without cutting me
Eagerly I jump in
Scooping the child in my arms
Her little arms that trembled,now are calm
As gratefully she puts them around my neck
As I carry her back to the mirror where we both gazed
We both breathed a sigh of relief
Closing our eyes,
We walk through the opening
Flowing from her reality into mine
As we enter this tranquil world
Her spirit returns to my soul
Leaving me with empty arms
But returning the part of me I lost so long ago
My sweet child within
I see myself
But it is not myself
It is who i am and who i used to be
when I place my hands before me
They are ones of a full grown woman
Yet when I look at my reflection
A little girl with big brown eyes is there
Tears stream from her soft eyes
Wondering what she did wrong
She can't remember yesterday
Let alone a hour ago
In her head, as well as mine
Deep rooted confusion swirls
How do i act with this one
How do i act with that one
What came flying out of my mouth this time
Making tidal waves where that ought not be
Can my mind not over run my mouth to prevent
Such actions, I guess not
Placing my hand upon the cold glass
I feel the child's every ache
For her aches are my own
As are her fears, laughter, sadness and happiness
How to take us to and mend the chaos
Just to make us one
If even for a short time
To know peace, if on for a little while
For as long as we both can recall
We have felt useless and undeserving
Although most of the hell we endure
Was caused by us
This is so very much understood
As she continues to weep
My heart breaks
Wanting so much to hold her close
To chase the fears of loss
Fears of not being good enough
Feelings of always letting others down
To chase them all away and let her breathe
Softly i sing to her
She delicately falls into a deep sleep
One where we both can dream of memories
Sweet pleasant memories
I can finally smile a bit
Remembering these times
Watching her drift in dreams
Knowing for now she is safe.
Violence shakes her from her slumber
Jagged cracks now dance across the mirror
She shreaks in horrid terror
As the realms of chaos come crashing in once more
I fall to the floor holding my head
Blood flowing from my eyes
Why must we endure this endless cycle
When will the calmness from this storm return
We both hold on for dear life
As we tremble back into our fears
Holding fast to whatever we can find
Then a sudden silence
Rising to my feet
Her to hers
We both wipe away the tears
Wondering what just happened
I look at the glass
gently pushing on it
A finger slips into her reality
We both smile with joy
With both hands I push the glass
It releases without cutting me
Eagerly I jump in
Scooping the child in my arms
Her little arms that trembled,now are calm
As gratefully she puts them around my neck
As I carry her back to the mirror where we both gazed
We both breathed a sigh of relief
Closing our eyes,
We walk through the opening
Flowing from her reality into mine
As we enter this tranquil world
Her spirit returns to my soul
Leaving me with empty arms
But returning the part of me I lost so long ago
My sweet child within
