Dancing With Melancholy Newsletter #2

[Aaron Graf]

Dancing With Melancholy Newsletter #2:


Thank you all for your deep inner thoughts. We have been able to have a
very busy time working on newsletters thanks in part to poets such as
yourselves. Below is a table of contents, below that are the poetry:

Poem #1: In the Dawn
Poem #2: Untitled
Poem #3: The Door That Chooses Life
Poem #4: There Must Be Something Wrong with Me
Poem #5: Feeble-Minded Youth
Poem #6: The Heart Comes Clean
Poem #7: Tree of Death
Poem #8: If
Poem #9: Denial
Poem #10: The Beast in the Cage
Poem #11: Abnormal Picture
Poem #12: Easy
Poem #13: Join Me in Death
Poem #14: Hurt Myself to Help Others
Poem #15: Goodbye to the Blue Boy and Autumn's Fallings

Poems:

Poem #1: In the Dawn:
Username: oOFoxxyDeannaOo
Name: Deanna Kitcher
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098774534




In the Dawn:
I'm going to go drive myself insane now-
Without a smile on my face
to keep the demons
of unhappiness away
And in this the rain of tears
will fall upon my face
to melt the beauty

The sky was never blue,
but stained with ink-
To cover up the scars
of un-emotion...



Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098774534"e=1098774534&start=0




Poem #2 untitled:
Username: strangeclouds
Name: Tamela
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098769289





I watched an old man feed birds once-
And it made me wish,
That I- could fly.
But these clouds...are so dark-
I deny...having use
for my eyes.
I sing to the night sky-
And wonder, if you can still hear me-
But squint in the day,
And question- if the sun should feel...so heavy.
I find myself wandering aimlessly on your shore,
But I never even care...
I know it's not going to end tomorrow, that I can float here...forever-
But I stand-
because of fear.
You promised once, you'd bring me flowers-
But how? When all it does is rain?
All I want- is to be held in your arms-
All I do- is slip away....
Am I like the rain, after all?
Am I pretty-
My
Whole
Way
Down?
Like silent words spilling...
when I try to scream aloud?
You knew- but never told me,
That even wishes can break-
And still, you hesitate, to say-
the only wounds...I'll ever bleed-
are made-

of ink.


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098769289"e=1098769289&start=0




Poem # 3 The Door That Closes Life:
username: ForgetMEnot
Name: Ash D M
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098375699



The Door That Closes Life:
A hand that hides the private parts
Is the hand that hides the shame
A mind that touches all the hearts
Is a mind that cannot blame
A soul that hangs around too long
Will surely blacken and die
A body that is no longer strong
Will lay down under the sky
A human who will never again cry
Is a human no more
A poet who will never again understand why
Is a poet that closed the door


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098375699"e=1098375699&start=0





Poem #4 There Must Be Something Wrong With Me:
Username: BrokenSoul
Name: Sarah A. Wilson
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098736158



There Must Be Something Wrong With Me:
Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry,
I can't stop this pain
all I want to do is die.

Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild,
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child.

Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things,
always there and never gone
depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me
if I can't stop these thoughts,
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.

Something is truly wrong with me
when I think there's only one way out,
"Let this pain end,"
is all my heart will shout.


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098736158"e=1098736158&start=0



Poem #5 Feeble-Minded Youth:
Username: ForgetMEnot
Name: Ash D M
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098741246




Feeble-Minded Youth:
feeble-minded youth
clasped by a dark hand
unfortunate, unappreciated, uncouthed
tantalized, mellow, sinful and bland
helpless always, beyond understanding
healthy, hearty, hallow
feeble-minded youth
in his prime and shallow...
frolic among the dead roses
shower the blood of self-mutilation
forever lost in minds creation
feeble-minded youth of a nation


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098741246"e=1098741246&start=0






Poem #6 The Heart Comes Clean:
Username: oleanderdragon
Name: not yet disclosed
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098053302




The Heart Comes Clean:
I don't know what to do anymore
I feel insecure about everyone and everything
Someone get me out of this insanity
Miserable, alone, and emotionally abused
Family misfortunes and issues
Friends keeping the stress alive
Everyone and everything
Seems to be ganging up on me
My life seems to be going down the drain
Please someone I beg...
Save me from this insanity
I don't know how much longer I can last
You say I'm strong and I don't quit
If that's so...
Why do I feel so low...
Like I'm losing my mind
Like I'm losing everyone and everything I love
No where to go...
No one to run to
No one can understand me or my burdens
They can't help me in any way anymore
My life is just so overwhelming
I continually ask myself why I stay
Why do I stay here?
Why do I continue to live?
Why do I continue to suffer here
When my happiness lies in another state?
Why am I letting myself get trapped
In a life I can not deal with?
Why... so many whys
And no answers are being given
Someone please save me
From this insanity, this hell
Why won't you let me give up
If its truly what I want?
Can't I just go back
To days much clearer
Days where I was happy
And had not a care in the world
How much longer I will last
Is a question I can't answer
Right now the outlook isn't good
I know you cannot save me...
But please make me feel good...


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098053302"e=1098053302&start=0





Poem #7 Tree of Death:
Username: ForgetMEnot
Name: Ash D M
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098283778




Tree of Death:

Sink into your bloody thoughts.
Don't look past the tree...
Do you understand life?
Did you understand me?

Past the tree lives Death
So does the leafs that are left.
Do you wonder where I went?
Did you finally accept?

Are your eyes still bleeding red?
Are those looks yet found?
Do you still love the thought of death?
Have you yet been crowned?

Look past the tree of death,
Are you still crying?
Do you laugh or
do you feel like dying?

Will you ever care?
Will you ever bleed?
I know your not really here,
but I still believe.


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098283778"e=1098283778&start=0

[Aaron Graf]

Poem #8 If:
Username: blacktears
Name: not yet disclosed
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098020580





If:
If everything was a simple as it seems,
would half the nation want to fucking bleed?
If I'm everything you need,
why don't you have me, from the power of your fear,
if my hearts so amazing,
why am I dead
if my lifes so frustrating,
why arent I dead
if this is all there is for me,
why should I stay? Whats stopping me?
Apart from a life to change, a list full of things I hate that I've made,

I dont feel, so whats the point to living if I cant feel alive? And all
I wanna do
*is just want to find my wings so I can fly*



Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098020580"e=1098020580&start=0





Poem #9 Denial:
Username: strangeclouds
Name: Tamela
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098164707





Denial:
They said my hollow breathing's solitude
rings within my also hollow insides...
And of course- I denied, but...the cold dampness of their judgement had
already started to seep into my bones.
So, I covered my ears to just shut. them. up. and found myself listening
to a strange and peculiar sound...
my breathing.
I sat, and heard the air go in...out. in.out.... And I was hollow inside.
And I realized, this huge fairytale of vampires and witches
won't last forever...and neither will my story.
This tale that I try to tell, that I've been trying to tell my whole
life-
me....
The blind...had finally had me.
I was now, one of them.


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098164707"e=1098164707&start=0







Poem #10 The Beast in the Cage:
Username: Aaron Graf
Name: Aaron Graf
Link:

The Beast in the Cage:


The beast in the cage,
The one you never got to see,
The one full of rage,
Hes trying to get free.
Hes making razor art on my tiny wrists,
Hes holding several cyanide pills inside my fists.
He doesnt like me at all,
He wants me to die,
Hes watching his old cage fall,
Hes making me cry.
Hes tying a rope onto my neck,
Hes attaching it to a pole,
He makes sure to check,
And make sure it will hold.
Hes digging his nails in me,
Hes keeping those around far, far away,
Hes causing me misery,
Hes saying that hell make me pay.

The beast in the cage,
The one you never got to see,
The one full of rage,
Hes trying to get free.
Hes forcing pills in my mouth,
Hes making me drink,
All I can so they go down south,
And always making sure theres no time to think.
Hes beating me down and scarring my face,
Hes cutting my at my throat,
Hes leaving my blood all over the place,
Hes now gutting me like his little goat.
Hes almost escaped, just one wall for him to climb.
Hes about to pull the trigger,
Only a few more seconds of time
Hes eating my pride so he can get bigger.
He pulls the trigger and a bullet passes through,
This is just the way he wanted to leave me,
But the twist to the story that you never knew,
Is that the beast was only my soul, it wanted to get free.

~ Aaron Graf


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098102125&start=0





Poem #11 Abnormal Picture:
Username: blacktears
Name: not yet disclosed
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098076671
Abnormal Picture:
I want to draw a picture
a picture with a twist
I'll draw it with a razor
straight across my wrist
and if I draw it proberly
a fountain will appear
to wash away my sadness
to wash away my fear
Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098076671"e=1098076671&start=0





Poem #12 Easy:
Username: BrokenSoul
Name: not yet disclosed
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1098066114



Easy:
It would be so easy
just to give in
to take my pills
and drink my booze
and let them ease all my fears...
to sink into forgetfulness
the absence of all emotion.
thoughts, feelings, actions stilled.
no fear, no pain, no sorrow
just peaceful rest.
to go to sleep
and never wake up.
It would be so very easy...
But because it is so easy
that is precisely the reason
why I will not take it.
I've never been a quitter
and I'm not going
to start now.
not yet
not without a fight.
not when the stakes are so high
Life...
or Death.



Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1098066114"e=1098066114&start=0



Poem #13 Join Me in Death:
Username: Trilliana
Name: not yet disclosed
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1097214999
Join Me in Death:
You were the one I loved
For so long
Tonight you're in the hospital
After talking to me...
I am the last person you see
"Join me in death"
You whisper those words
In my ear softly
I am so close to falling through
You were my rock
Now, me the last person you talked to
Will be the very last person to know
If you're going to make it
Or die.
The last I heard,
You're not going to make it.
Gods why'd I have to say those things to you?
Gods, kill me now
Let me join him in death
"join me in death"
those last words you shall speak
using the last of your strength
using the last breath of air you have in you
"join me in death"
My love, my only one
I'm sorry I hurt you
I'm sorry you hurt me too
Gods forgive me
I didn't know this was going to happen
I didn't know what he told me would be what he would actually do!
"join...
me

in




death"


Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1097214999"e=1097214999&start=0








Poem #14 Hurt Myself to Help Others:
Username: Aaron Graf
Name: Aaron Graf
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1093402631




Hurt Myself to Help Others:
I wish I could disappear, to a place without anguish,
To a place without religion for in this world I languish.
I cut my wrists to offer some escape, if only briefly.
I hurt myself to save the world from the rage that boils inside me
Drowning in my mask of isolation filled with gasoline instead of air.
They told me Id find happiness but never said where.
All I see around me is hate in the name of family values and morality,
They throw out their hate like darts on a board and the bulls eye is me.
They claim that Im crazy, but maybe theyre right,
But theyre lucky its my wrists I cut instead of their throats at night.
My mind is still scarred and beaten, you wonder why I like time alone.
Maybe youll know why I hate you and myself after tossing another stone.
Their thoughts are that Im a killer or a rapist or a thief in the brains
they lack
But they got their conclusions just because I dressed up in black.
They describe me with words like faggot or queer so they feel happy.
But the biggest threat to myself is not them it has always been me.
Will you just show me some love whoever you are.
And please stop running from me like Ive got the plague or SARS.
When get they the mail they cut open their love letters,
But I just took the knife to my throat for a life with something better.

Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1093402631"e=1093402631&start=0





Poem #15 Goodbye to the Blue Boy and Autumn's Fallings:
Username: GDelmarRatliff
Name: G Delmar Ratliff
Link:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=display&thread=1097440934




Goodbye to the Blue Boy and Autumn's Fallings:
when the first drag of breath blew us in,
you soul-kissed the sky; i didnt take much clout.
suspicious things are to be left alone; out of grasp
my breath had already walked these terrains,
i soul-kissed the earth instead.

now stuck out over some dead-drop fame;
here and i staid and came into this by pain, by scars
these remains are left for your blued-scary worlds
dreams of places where the sun is always,
always shinning and that god-awful fire

you burn off and on through storm showers
and beach front atmospheres of sand dust.
you stirred the ground i kissed, my world, you
safe and sound in a nest i caught to fire
you selfish son-of-a-bitch.

when did time ever stop your eternal theory?
your demise is the death-date you plan
in the arbors of february with a wedded bar of soap,
caked-up, a ring; there is nothing left to clean.
the last of the germ slithers down the drain,

lost is a best friend, the stains wash away
foolishly; i wish i had loved you no more
these remains are left from your blued-scary worlds
when the solstice met the phoenix
a dark cold day soon after the autumn fell.

you could have at least kissed me, and said good-bye.




Comment on this:
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi?board=pillsaregoodforyou&action=post&thread=1097440934"e=1097440934&start=0


Regards,

The Team
liberalpoetry.proboards29.com/index.cgi