Does the shame ever end?

[Heavy Hearted]

I wrote this not long after I did a video statement with the police, to help my cousin get justice from her father, who sexually molested us both....

Does the shame ever end?

I sit here and cry, reliving my past
Thinking of all he did, all he took.
I thought I had beaten it at last,
but still my soul is shook.

I had buried it deep, hidden it away.
Forgot it, or pretended to.
I thought forgetting made it okay,
god what am I gonna do?

I told my story, to help another heal.
Reopened my pain, and let it fly.
I felt the pain I never wanted to feel.
I curled up, and wished I could die.

Does this shame ever end?
Do I ever get to live truly free?
Will I ever live for real, and not pretend?
Do I ever get to be truly me?

I told my story, the good it did.
He still walks free, for they did not believe me.
Hell, who was I really trying to kid,
thinking that justice would finally be.

The guilty will always walks free...
the innocent will pay the price of it all.
That is what will always anger me.
That is why I am always the one to fall.

I did nothing wrong, yet I pay.
I walk in the shadows of shame.
It'll never really be truly okay.
for I will forever feel the blame.

I'll hear his voice echoing in my head.
Telling me, that I'm the bad girl, I'm to blame.
I will always believe him, never me instead.
For he filled me with all this shame.

Echos, echo so deep, to the core.
Never will they stop truly.
For when they do, my soul calls for more,
for that is how I live, that is me.

His voice is forever in my head, and my heart.
He planted the shame deep as can be.
He broke my spirit wide apart.
Plainly, he broke her, broke me.

So he walks free, and I stay forever in shame.
For the shame will never end.
For he made me believe that I was to blame.
Never will this shattered heart ever mend....

>>ANGIE<<

** Just so you know, I told my story to the police, had not a very nice experience in doing so, and he(attacker) was never charged. Just for the fact that they didn't believe me....said my stories didn't match the ones I told when I was three....and his second victim doesn't rememeber much.....so he walks free....his second victim was his own daughter **